Do Babies Suffer When Mother's Return To Work?

Are you suffering from mom guilt?

Motherhood comes with a never-ending list of things you could have done better. Let’s explore what these ‘could haves’ lead to!

A unifying theme of motherhood is guilt. No matter what decisions you make you will feel it, react to it, and sometimes even perpetuate it. Mom guilt can be a good thing if it serves as a reminder that the efforts and actions toward their children matter. But if you take it as a primary emotion; overriding feelings of pride, affection, and empathy, can negatively impact your parenting. Positive parenting isn’t about always stressing if you’re doing the right thing. We've been talking about mom guilt. But do you know what exactly is this "mom guilt"?

Mom guilt refers to a feeling of self-doubting encountered by mothers who think they're falling short of expectations as a mother in some or the other way. The guilt pushes you into deep judgment and makes you compare yourself to others where you believe that you are falling short. Hiding these thoughts, you begin to believe that they are true. Mothers then become their own worst critics! Did you know that the guilt results in depression and anxiety? You will start to feel down most of the time, have fatigue, anger, or intense, obtrusive worry, or low self-worth, among other symptoms. “I should not go back to work, because I am abandoning my baby.” I “am a bad mother.” If these thoughts cross your mind, know that you have mom guilt.

When does this guilt commence?

Mother guilt starts during pregnancy, and continues to rear its ugly head at home, work, and in society in general. So-called experts, as well as plenty of amateurs, like to point out observed flaws in moms, saying too free-range, too tiger mom, too pushy, too controlling, etc. Moms are especially vulnerable because they want to believe that they influence children and their behaviour makes a difference. Thus, mom guilt becomes a balancing act of coping with these internal and external feelings of guilt that only serve us well if we keep them at bay.

What triggers mom guilt?

This so-called “mom-guilt” is universal among mothers. It shows up at any time. There are gigantic expectations from society and family about what mothers should be like and what mothers should do. Should a mom return to work post-pregnancy? Giving enough attention to the kid? Paying extra attention? Breastfeed or not? Some moms may feel like they are abandoning their babies or missing things that happen during the day. We have all had “breast is best” hammered into our heads, and moms can feel guilty if they decide to not breastfeed or to stop. But breastfeeding puts additional pressure on mom, and sleepless nights, as she is the only one who can feed the baby. And if a mom goes back to work, continually pumping during workdays may become impossibly difficult. No matter what, mothers will be judged about their decisions and hence, guilt begins to take a toll. So just relax.

Does all this sound familiar? If yes, know you are not alone.

Check out this video to know more about life as a mother, right from the precious moments to challenges, pregnancy tips to health tips to post partum, the 3 super moms Simone Khambatta, Esha Deol and Ishna offer a rare and unique insight into their journey of motherhood for working moms. Learn about their experiences, learnings and more in this video as MomsKnowBest.

Becoming a mother is one of the most deep-felt transitions in life. It takes time to adjust, and it is possible to decrease those feelings of mom guilt. If you need support navigating through this time, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist. What do you feel guilty about as a mom? Share with the fellow moms in the comments below!