The Art Of Negotiating With Your Toddler

Braving your toddlers fuss tides

Are you a mom who is constantly stuck between your child’s savvy negotiation skills? Then, this article is here to save the day!

There are things we wish our children learn early on like speaking and getting potty trained. Well, potty training is genuinely a must. Then there is walking as well. But what we do not want our little ones to learn is to start arguing with us. Toddlers are no doubt the most adorable munchkins but they can be pretty fussy when it comes to eating, watching TV and even about bedtime. Babies and bedtime is an ultimate battle that parents have been trying to conquer since ages but they end up losing their own sleep and the schedule goes for a toss.

In the midst of all this, the main thing is negotiating which comes at play. Are you constantly putting your weapons down in front of your kids when they either smartly or emotionally try to win a negotiation? Or you put your foot down like an entitled adult and not let them have things their way? The idea is not to make your child bitter towards you as well. You can’t keep granting them their wishes as well as at the same time, you try to make them work according to you. Taming toddler tantrums is extremely essential, and doing so without bribing or yelling is pure art.

So, the whole conversation comes to this, how do you convince your child to do the right thing where either you win by strength or they win by their inherent cuteness or other skill sets they acquire over time. Let’s delve into it!

1. They learn what they see!

Our little balls of mush are not just cute but very sharp. When they learn to acquire a language, crawl, sit up and walk, nobody is actually teaching them but they acquire by seeing the adults around on two legs, talking, making conversations. Similarly, they also learn how to make the other people listen to them, sometimes also first hand when you make them do certain things they don’t want to.

They use similar tactics unintentionally on you, so rather than being good at negotiating, they become great manipulators; sweet-talking, throwing tantrums, or declining to eat, a few to mention. Be careful of how you behave around them, most likely they are learning by watching you.

2. Life lessons in small incidents

How much ever we try to teach our children, there are few things which they learn over time via their own experiences. Therefore, try creating situations where they get to learn something valuable by seeing it with their own eyes. When it comes to negotiation, try teaching a compassionate version of negotiation where you not only solve your own problem but also address the others by taking care of their needs as well.

Here you make them both strong-headed in a way where they don't get to compromise as well as teach them to be compassionate enough to understand the position of the other person.

3. Where to draw the line?

Your child has a lot of weapons in their little minds to manipulate you when it comes to getting their work done. Some show tantrums, but some also use sweet talking. They sure by now are leaving hints as well that they are about to lay a negotiation or a manipulation upfront. Look for signs.

You need to draw a line which your child should not fathom to cross so that a boundary is established and discipline is maintained.

4. The talk about Control

You need to realize the fact that even your children are budding individuals who are constantly seeking or wanting to do something which you might not be allowing them to do. Over the course of time, they learn to negotiate their way out of anything and by the time you would realize, you have already been manipulated. How not to be in this situation?

The only thing comes at play is understanding them. Every generation comes with their set of aspirations and expectations from life which might differ from the prior generations. Try to put yourself in their shoes and handle the situation before it goes out of your hand.

Having skills to get your work done is sometimes risky but comes handy when you step into the real world. And that is exactly what children need to learn but not the bad parts of it. The idea is to teach them to spot the obvious line between right and wrong, kindness and rudeness so that they don't themselves get into that position where they become insensitive individuals. Winning without whining is possible ladies. You can do this!!

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? Let us know about your negotiating shenanigans with your little one!