Parenting Tips For Moms

Positive Parenting

How To Always Stop Your Child From Whining

  • October 9, 2020
  • MKB Team

7 Steps to stop toddler whining

Yes, moms you read that right. It is possible! Read on to know how.

Your journey to motherhood is not a cakewalk. We know it, ladies. Every day is like walking on a new type of eggshells, your whining toddler presents you each day with a new kind of challenge. Improvisation is constantly needed when it comes to handling your toddler. How bearable would it be if each child came with their custom instructions’ manual? That would cut your struggle by half.

Moving on from wishful thinking to realistic thinking. So here is the MKB approach: CREATE YOUR OWN MANUAL. No one knows your child better than you, small efforts to study their moods, responses and overall behaviour will help you deal with their whining. We will help you draft the perfect strategy to transform the terrible two’s into tolerable two’s! Why? Because us moms got to stick together!

Whining is seriously the worst! Definitely every mom’s biggest pet peeve with the toddlers. It’s hard to stay calm when it’s just so dang dramatic and annoying to deal with. 



1. Go back and study the basics

We often ignore the obvious. Many times the reason for your toddler’s whining is that something in their routine is not right. This can be :

  • They aren’t getting the desired amount of sleep and rest they need.
  • They are hungry which makes them angry. So they are hangry.
  • They aren’t getting enough playtime out in nature’s fresh air.
  • They are overwhelmed by a hectic routine leaving no time for them to take it slow.
  • They are not getting the affection and attention they crave from their parents. 

2. Train him to ask ONLY ONCE

Mom. Mom! Mommy. Mom. Momma! Mom. This is a funny inside joke among moms. However, the truth is, allowing this behaviour is teaching entitlement. Your child must understand his needs are not always the most important or the most urgent. For example: When he calls for you this way, stop him. Say, “Param, you must say Mom one time and wait for me to answer you. Let’s practice.” Then walk him through it, holding up your hand at the point at which he should wait for you to respond. Allow 10 seconds to pass, then say, “Yes, Param, what can I do for you?”

3. Try using key parenting statements

It is almost annoying when your toddler says the same sentence over and over again and whine when he doesn’t get his way. High pitched screams and squeals are harder to deal with and we know it. Navigate this situation by using stern statements (minus the yelling) that make your toddler understand that THIS BEHAVIOUR IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. Few statements that work like magic are :

  • Tell me in your big boy/girl voice what is wrong.” 
  • “Feel free to come out when you are done making that noise.” 
  • “Mom doesn’t listen to those noises. Once you have been quiet and calm for three minutes, I will come to get you.”

It’s also really important to use a calm, quiet voice regardless of how frustrating the situation. And as always, consistency is key, which is why we are a huge fan of usingkey parenting phrases.

It doesn’t work to try this process once or twice and expect it to solve whining forever. This is something you must do with our toddler every time he gets into a whiny phase.

4. Do not respond to whining

If your child whines, it is because he gets something when he does it. The something he gets could be anything from an exasperated sigh from you to a cookie. It doesn’t matter, he’s getting something. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be doing it.

This is like a muscle that gets stronger with practice. Practice not responding to your child when he whines. Replace frustrated remarks with phrases such as, “I can’t understand you when you talk like that.” “My ears don’t work with the sound you’re making.”

The flip side to this is to be intentional to respond positively every time your child says something pleasingly. Make a big deal out of these moments. Use phrases like, “You spoke that SO well!” “Great job communicating! I’m able to give you what you need because your voice sounded nice.”

Use these phrases whether you believe your toddler understands them or not. Understanding comes over time. Don’t withhold intellect.

5. Discover patterns

If your toddler is whining and crying all the time, that can be a good thing! Doesn’t make sense right? Let’s understand what we mean by that statement.

Now you can anticipate the whining ahead of time, make a plan and work on it proactively. When working with toddlers, the offence is a much more encouraging place than scrambling on defence. Look for underlying patterns of whining and what seems to trigger your child. From there, think about which of the 3 underlying needs in those situations might be: power, experience or connection.

If it’s power, look for ways your child can feel more control over a given situation. We’d like to think of this as giving your child micro-decisions, while you keep the macro-decisions.

To meet the need for experience, look for ways the child can enjoy a particular experience in a way that is OK with you. Kids have very vivid imaginations and one way to meet the need for experience is through pretend play. This also has the magical ability to help meet the need for connection.

6. Evaluate your own tone

Use storytime, how you respond, singing, and any other opportunities to model good language skills and tone.

Reading out loud has proven to improve language skills, better cognition, and also boosts brain development. These opportunities should also be used to model good language and tone by giving the hero in a story the best tone of voice.

For instance, if there is a good kid in a story you are reading, be sure to read his parts with the kind of voice you’d like to hear from your child.

Your little tantrum throwers will eventually leave that tactic behind. We know the days seem long now, but eventually, children get better at expressing their needs. As long as you’ve modelled good communication for them and put in the practice the tips we have listed in this article, you’ll find that the tantrums lessen and your children become happier all on their own.

Are you dealing with a whining toddler too? We know life is hard now, but do share the tops that calm him down. Your wisdom can boost another struggling mom’s morale! so get commenting ladies!

Published by

MKB Team

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