We are sure you stumble upon these myths on a daily basis and we are here to crack the code for you!
If you are a new mom, you must be bustling with emotions and aspirations that you would attach with the newfound motherhood and your baby. One flip side which is worst is the mom’s guilt. Feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, thinking you are not giving enough attention and whatnot, this mom guilt manifests in everything you do! Some of it you would have seen in your mothers as well. The saddest part is most of it is fed into and here today we will burst all these myths attached to being a Mom!
The major reason for this mom’s guilt is the narrative that a good mom is always attentive and ever-present. None of this is true. And we are here to change the conversation altogether! Here are the Myths that dance in your head, and we are here to kick them away for good!
1. I don’t want to spend enough time with the kids.
There is a household that depends on the parents apart from the child itself. Then there is a career. Of course, you will burn out and that will lead to frustration, eventually, that will also mean that you will spend less time with your kid. It is as real as it gets and accepting it from ground zero is your responsibility. Studies show that quality time is weighed more than the quantity of time when it comes to your kid and therefore, you must not take it to your heart and focus on making the time fruitful and productive which you are spending with your kids.
2. I am unable to bond with my child.
Not every parent is cut out to play with the child. Some read to them, some teach them cooking and some just strike deep conversations (whatever a toddler is capable of). It is not necessary that you have to play, even if that is not something you personally enjoy. Because if you are, then you will never be 100% there and that does more harm than good. Children are very receptive and they can sense your absent-mindedness. Therefore, it is not that important to just be there for your kids in their playtime. You contribute to many other spheres in raising them and that should be enough.
3. My temper is out of control.
It is natural to lose your temper. Children can be a fussy giant ball of tantrums themselves and it is understandable that you lose your cool and yell once in a while. Many moms suffer from the same and you are not doing anything out of the ordinary. And to address the elephant, you are not a bad mom. You are just human with a lot of emotions and a roller coaster called life that you are dealing with. The best way is to rectify one’s behaviour. Not falling into the guilt and lastly and importantly, apologize to your child as well for your behaviour. That not only sets a great example of self-realization and expressing it but also shows a part of you to your child which is human and is capable of making mistakes.
4. Am I too Strict? Am I too Lenient?
Ok super mom, calm down! You need to understand that you are doing the best you can. And if you are putting an effort into reading such an article then definitely, you don’t just wanna raise your child with the telltale parenting which we all heard. You are trying and that is the best part. Another thing is that just like you, your children are also evolving with changing times so there is no set format to deal with your little monkeys. So the debate of being too strict or too lenient should be off the table. Understand that your immense love and setting boundaries will be the fundamental of your relationship with the child. Rest is ever-evolving and changing.
5. I shouldn’t spend time alone, my life should be devoted to my kids
Your time with yourself, with your partner, your friend, etc, is as important as time with your children. But the guilt of taking that time off will do you no good. You will be guilty once your child will grow up and have a space of their own, that why didn’t you allow yourself some time off to enjoy your life as well. You are a person of desires and needs and they are equally important to be fulfilled. Solitude is not a bad thing for parents to take and you need to believe that!
Don’t fall for these myths if you are a new parent or an old one still trapped in it. Having a child is the best experience so don’t let these thoughts win over that beautiful feeling.
If you have suggestions or queries do write to us, we would love to hear your side of the story as well.