Raising sons and daughters equally

Treating the Girl and Boy Child Equally

Today, raising sons and daughters equally is the trend all over the world, and India, albeit slow, has realized that gender quality begins at home. Like always, the examples set at home by parents and other family members shape the perception of the next generation about important issues like gender and equality.
New parents have been instrumental in shattering gender stereotypes that used to dominate our society. More husbands have been wearing hats that were worn strictly by wives. ‘Sharing iscaring’ is clearly the new mantra and the new normal for a successful parenting relationship.

If you want your children to be successful parents, educating them
about women’s rights and gender equality is an absolute must, and
this can only be brought about by raising sons and daughters equally.
Here are a few tips to go about it.

•  Talk about the issue
  Have a conversation with your children about the importance of
  gender equality and the pertinence of women’s rights in society.
  Speak to them why we must strive to reach a gender-equal world
  and highlight the role played by women achievers. By doing so, you
  are enlightening them to pave the way for a better future for
  everyone. Kids should also get the attention of both parents equally.
  Gone are the days when the son got an extra morsel of food because
  of his sex. It is 50-50 when it comes to everything, including food
  proportion. Talk about it on the breakfast table!
• Share the household work
  Parents should share the unpaid household work. It is generally that
  women bear the brunt of the load when it comes to activities like
  cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the children and elderly. In
  some cases however, the husbands have stepped forward to explore
  previously unknown areas. But there’s a long way to go!
  Similarly, when children are engaged in household work, there
  should be no division that this is a girl’s job and that is a boy’s job. It
  is just because of this unfair classification and segregation of work
  that countless girls and women have missed out on equal
  opportunities to study in a school, college or pursue a career. Both
  boys and girls should be involved in household chores from an early
  age and do stuff equally.
• Have diverse role models
  Introduce your children to role models irrespective of gender, colour
  race, culture and country. They should learn about reformers like
  Raja Rammohan Roy who started widow remarriage, Mother Teresa
  who spread love as well as Abe Lincoln who abolished slavery.
  Encourage them to watch men’s and women’s sports to have role
  models of both sexes. Inspire your children that they can become
  anything they want to be, irrespective of their gender.
• Battle stereotypes
  It is to be understood that gender is not about the biological
  differences between the two sexes as commonly perceived, but
  more of a social construct. People in a society define what it means
  to be a boy or a girl, or male or female. We blindly follow this social
  conditioning without challenging it and expect our children to adhere
  to gender roles that are specific and limiting in nature. Thankfully, the times are changing now! But more stereotypes need to be
  challenged and broken. According to research, children start
  absorbing stereotypes as early as age 3. That’s precisely the need for
  an early discussion on gender roles in a bid to challenge the
  preconceived notions assigned to men and women in all areas. For
  example, it is still perplexing to some in our country that there could
  be male nurses in a hospital as it is still thought that nursing is a role
  strictly for women. We also suffer from unconscious gender biases
  like these as we perceive roles based on the set patterns and
  expectations of society. With more and more women entering the
  defence forces, it’s hardly a man’s world today. So one can hardly set
  expectations about what kind of work men and women should do.
  Why not make it simpler and leave it to each individual what work
  they want to do instead? Teach your children to be vocal and speak
  out against any form of gender inequality they witness or
  experience. Just knowing about it won’t do. One has to speak up for
  it.
• No body shaming
  Sadly, our world revolves in the way society, popular culture and the
  media wants it to revolve as we compare ourselves to the beauty
  standards set by them. We are constantly reminded that it is
  desirable for women to be fair. We strive to be good looking instead
  of intelligent as we compete to match our looks with other people.
  This need to be judged by our physical appearance has reached
  monstrous proportions and we stoop to body shaming others who
  fail to meet our standards of perfection.
  Parents must lead by example when it comes to body shaming as
  children will only emulate your speech and actions. Don’t be critical
  of body form and avoid racist, sexist or negative stereotypes of any type of body standard. Make it clear to children that it matters how you act in life, more than how you look!
  
  Was this article helpful for you? What’s your POA for raising sons
  and daughters equally? Do write in to us!
  
  Q&A
  You ask and we answer!
  
  Do parents raise their sons and daughters differently?
  Radhika Bhaseen, Mumbai.
  Whilst parents may not intend to treat sons and daughters
  differently, research shows that they do. Sons appear to get
  preferential treatment in that they receive more helpful praise, more
  time is invested in them, and their abilities are often thought of in
  higher regard.
  
  Are sons or daughters harder to raise?
  Mukti Ramani, Chennai.
  Among men, 58% say boys are easier to raise, while 24% say girls.
  The gap is smaller with a 21-point gap among women, who also
  believe boys are easier to raise than girls, but by 50% to 29%.