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Positive Parenting

Impact Of Positive Language On Kids

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  • October 21, 2020
  • MKB Team

Improving how we speak to our children

If you are struggling at home with your kid, making them understand the good and bad, this approach might come at hand!

The language that you use with your kids constitutes the base for their communication. The impact and long-lasting effects of the same depend on them. Do you often struggle with what kind of language to be used with your kid? If you do, this is the read of the day for you.

Kids immediately pick up things and language used by you can be one of them. The way they get treated is the way they think others should be treated as well. Not only it has a mental and emotional impact but their social standing also depends on the kind of language used with them from their foundational years. Teach your kids some positive habits and create positive surroundings.

Let's see why positive phrases should be used over negative with the kids.

1. They find it hard to comprehend

They are too small to realize the reason behind your word 'Stop'. Stop this, stop that, and stop. Negatively worded discipline is hard for children to understand because it doesn't tell them much about the course of action. So, basically, you yelling “STOP’ all the time, practically goes to vain.

Better use words like, please walk rather than stop running, please let your father work rather than don't bother your father. Be clear in what you want them to do and ask them politely, using positive words.

2. Good behaviour is reinforced

A calm and courteous language only helps in building a peaceful temperament of your child. Your house would be more positive and so shall you. They would behave, would listen to you more and most important would not be afraid. Negative language can give them an impression of you being strict and that will further dissuade them from confiding in you and even listening. Harsh and rude words will just make them bitter.

3. Neurobiological Reasons

The prefrontal cortex responds differently to negative and positive phrases. If you use negatives then they become alert which leads to activating the fight, flight, freeze or faint emotion which in turn make them angry, feisty, and bitter. But when used positively they become more curious, open-minded and overall in the state of mind to understand you and your concerns about their troubling behaviour.

A positive household indeed helps in improving your child’s behaviour which in turn allows you a more peaceful environment, cordial relationship and fewer chances of burn out on both of your ends.

Last but not the lease, start saying Yes more to your child! The following phrases are the example:

  • No, you can’t have a cookie → Yes, you can have dessert after dinner.
  • I can’t play right now  → Yes, I can play
    with you after I’m done writing this email.
  • I don’t want a mess right now so no you can’t make slime → Yes, you can make
    slime as long as everything is cleaned up once you’re done.

This will have a positive reaction and they, in turn, will also say yes more to you and others rather than a blatant no. But take note, that sometimes giving a straight no becomes important because kids leave no choice and a curt answer is what as a parent you should resort to. No doesn’t have to be out of the question, but it just should be used more scarcely than you are doing right now. It is like a weapon in worst-case scenarios to keep the importance of your final word intact.

If you want to learn or know anything specific about positive learning then you can write to us in the comments below!


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MKB Team

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