How to make your introvert child feel included.

Ways to make your Introvert Child feel Included 

If your child is shy and reserved, and doesn’t dive in to play with the other kids like you used to do, there’s no need to worry. Let the child be content in watching the other kids play and don’t label your kid’s introvert nature as shyness.
As a parent it’s completely natural to be worried of course. But being introvert doesn’t mean that the child is suffering from depression.

This is more to do with the child’s inner temperament, which is related to biology, and the more you accept this and love your child, the happier an introverted child will be.

Take comfort from the fact that there’s nothing unusual if a child is introvert in nature. Some of the most famous names like Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Abraham Lincoln, J.K. Rowling and Bill Gates to name a few, were introverts.

Here are a few characteristics of introverted children as understanding is of key importance first.
 Remember Calvin? The kid with the imaginary friend in a toy tiger called Hobbes in that famous comic strip. Introvert children live in an inner world that’s vivid, present and alive. They like to retire to their private space, preferring to spend
time behind closed doors, doing solitary stuff like reading, drawing, painting or playing computer games. This inner world can be imaginative but also acts as a double edged sword. It leads to alienation and isolation.

 Introverts ask the big questions and engage with the deeper aspects of life. Unlike others, they want to understand everything, including their own behaviour, which is astonishing.

 They act later but observe first. Introverts like to watch a game properly before joining in.

 Instead of following the crowd, introverts use their own judgement to take decisions. This is a positive as they are not vulnerable to peer pressure and won’t do something just to fit in.

 They take time to open up and reveal their true personalities. They are great listeners, and might talk softly. They may not make eye contact, but do so while listening.

 They are uncomfortable in group settings preferring solitude and quiet reflection instead. But at the same time, one cannot live in isolation. Even an introvert
child needs to be included in society. So, just how do you go about it?

 Introduce your kid to new people and situations slowly new environments and strangers can make introverts anxious or overwhelmed. Don’t rush them if you’re attending a social event. They’ll take their own sweet time to settle in, and so, arrive a little early so your child eases into the situation and the place to get comfortable in the new surroundings. Quietly observing proceedings from a distance is another option from where s/he can safely process things. It’s best to take things slowly as while extroverts absolutely thrive on socializing, it drains out introverts completely.

 Praise them like you should
It’s good to praise an introvert child when she takes what appears to be a social risk by talking to another child, which in other children would be perfectly natural. Also, highlight something that she really enjoyed in an outing when she really
was afraid of the outing initially and didn’t want to go. “Didn’t you love watching the animals in the zoo? You had fun playing with the other children also, didn’t you?”

 Help your kids feed on their passion
Keep in mind that the things that interest an introvert child may not be what you expect your child to be passionate about. He or she might prefer reading to playing outdoor sports for example, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 Talk to the teachers
As a parent, you know your child best. So, your child’s introversion
has to be discussed with her teacher by you. Teachers need to
interpret the behaviour of the introvert child correctly instead of
assuming wrongly that they don’t speak up in class or actively
participate in discussions because they are disinterested or
inattentive. Once the teacher knows that the child is introvert, it
becomes easier to understand that the child is in fact, attentive in
class but prefers to listen and observe rather than talk and
participate. This will also help the teacher guide the child in a better
way.
 Teach your child to stand up for herself

Teach an introvert child that their voice is important. He or she should learn to say NO when they are being treated unfairly or bullied in school.

 Accept and celebrate
Mere acceptance of an introvert is not enough. Treasure him or her for what he or she is and respect their individuality by celebrating it.

Moreover, never let them think that there’s something wrong with them because there isn’t. When you embrace introverts for who they are, that’s all the confidence they need to shine in this world.

Write in to us with your views and suggestions about raising introverts. We’d love to hear from you!

Q&A
You ask and we answer!

What makes a child introverted?
Minnie Verghese, Coimbatore.
Introvert children like imaginative play, and they prefer playing alone
or with just one or two other children. They often spend time in their
own room with the door closed, doing solitary things like reading,
drawing, or playing computer games.

How can I help my introverted toddler?
Romila Gogoi, Jorhat.
Teach introverted children that they can take breaks from social
situations if they feel overwhelmed or tired. Help your child