Pregnancy, Parenting, Mom and Baby Healthcare Tips

Positive Parenting

Bribing Versus Rewarding Kids

Blog
  • October 10, 2020
  • MKB Team

Rewards & Bribery, What works?

Here's everything you need to know about bribing v/s rewarding, and how the two can either harm or help in raising your little one.

 

There's often a struggle to understand what's the major difference between the two. Ultimately, both bribing and rewarding offer something in return for the desired result BUT the way the reward is offered makes all the difference. 

Bribing

It is an attempt to make your kid do something for you by giving him something in exchange. Unlike the rewards, bribes mostly aren't pre-planned and are used to tackle the situation at hand. For instance, if your kid starts yelling unnecessarily, when you're out for dinner, you offer to give him a candy bar if he agrees to keep quiet and behave appropriately.  

It might be the quickest and the easiest way to tackle the situation, but in the long term, it's sure to invite trouble. It gives the kids a signal that they'll be offered something every time if they do not adjust rather than teaching them to get their act together in the very first time. It shifts their mentality to ''What's in it for me if I listen to mom/dad?'' in every situation, which later becomes a pattern and teaches the children to act out for all that they want.

Rewarding

Rewards are like a pat on the back for the good job that your child has done. It is something that should be pre-planned and should not be a result of the 'heat of the moment' negotiations. Rewards, when used positively, can motivate the children to perform better every time. It generally has a long-term impact and can help boost the child's confidence in ways unimaginable! Thereby keeping the power of decision making in the hands of the parents. On the other hand, when the children are not well appreciated for their good deeds, they often feel demotivated and miss out on a sense of accomplishment. 

The most prominent difference between the two can be stated as, Bribery is a tool used when you want your kid to do something instantly just to avoid an unfavourable situation, this gives the child the driving seat and they often misuse this tool to blackmail you to get what they want or else you will have have to face a big NO for everything that you're expecting. Whereas, Rewards are something that makes the child feel better about doing the right thing and hence he is gifted with pre-determined offerings as a gesture of appreciation and love. 

Rewards can be very impactful when used right. They can prove to be helpful motivators and can teach the children the importance of good work and great deeds. 

How to use the REWARDS in the right way?

1. Set rewards in advance

Set goals for your kids which are easily achievable and which will help them learn and grow.

Speak about the rewards for achieving those goals! (Try to keep the goals light and attainable or else the child will lose interest.) Encourage children to choose their own rewards. This will make them work hard for what they desire.

2. Timing of the rewards

Stick to the timing that you've promised to your kids.

Don't delay the rewards or else the kid will lose the excitement and importance of it. If you don't stay true to your words your kids may not take you seriously the next time. You don't want to lose your credibility. 

3. Spot your child doing the good work

Whenever you catch your child doing good, stop and treat them with something that they love.

Reward them for the tiny achievements. Something as simple as doing their homework without you asking or for example, if your child always forgets to wash their hands before dinner and are doing it today, praise them for the good behaviour. Let them know you notice and care about every effort they put in to become better. Focus on rewarding good habits rather than good outcomes. 

4. Keep rewarding rightly and consistently

Your reward need not always be something big and long term.

It could be something as small as regular kisses and warm hugs along the way. Some children value their parent's love and attention more than money or gifts. Find out your child's sweet spot. Rewarding children consistently is more impactful in encouraging positive behaviour rather than treating them with one big gift in months. 

5. Let the reward be a teaching

Use the rewards to teach your children good habits or to break the bad ones.

Let rewards be something that help them develop long term positive habits rather than giving them gifts for completing a one-time task. At the end of the day, the child should be able to learn a meaningful habit and not rely on rewards to get things done in the future. 

Remember to always shower the kids with abundant love and affection irrespective of their performance. 

We're sure by now you know how rewards can be used as an effective parenting tool and how it can do wonders for your child while bribing them can just make life so much tougher for you in the longer run. 

Now, get ready to answer something fun. How do you reward your child and how do they respond to being appreciated?


Published by

MKB Team

200 Articles

MomsKnowBest is a fast-growing vibrant community of moms, for moms, by moms. Motherhood is complex fun, fulfilling, grueling, exhausting and very complex. There’s no handbook to it. And let’s face it – moms are put...

Read More

Share with your friends!

Leave a Comment

Latest Post

Blog Thumbnail

Psychological Effects Of Parental Employment On...

Read
Blog Thumbnail

How To Correctly Introduce Your Toddler To Risky...

Read
Blog Thumbnail

Are You Raising A Yoga Kid?

Read
Blog Thumbnail

Handy Lactation Tips For New Moms

Read

Trending Post

Importance of Jaggery during pregnancy

You have to engage in a healthy diet for your pregnancy to proceed smoothly. It’s also important to...

Read

Health benefits of makhana during pregnancy

When you are expecting a baby, you are constantly on the lookout for foods to avoid and foods that...

Read

Health Benefits Of Ragi for Babies

Ragi porridge is one of the most recommended and nutritious meals you can give your baby. Feeding...

Read

Sleeping Position During Pregnancy | Safest...

Is sleeping on tummy advisable while pregnant?

Read

Latest Post

Blog Thumbnail

Psychological Effects Of Parental Employment On...

Read
Blog Thumbnail

How To Correctly Introduce Your Toddler To Risky...

Read
Blog Thumbnail

Are You Raising A Yoga Kid?

Read
Blog Thumbnail

Handy Lactation Tips For New Moms

Read